


Memories Have Teeth

by Gravity_Sun



Series: JayDick Week June 2016 [5]
Category: Batman (Comics), DCU, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Childhood Sexual Abuse, Heart-to-Heart, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, M/M, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-20
Updated: 2016-06-20
Packaged: 2018-07-16 05:53:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7255144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gravity_Sun/pseuds/Gravity_Sun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Day 5 - First Heart-To-Heart</p><p>Or</p><p>Jason comes clean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Memories Have Teeth

**Author's Note:**

> "Memories demand attention because memories have teeth" - Viola Davis

            His body reacts before his mind does, and his hand goes up to block the blow aimed for his face, his body rolling away and priming to strike before his eyes even fully open. The next blow is more erratic, and he manages to catch the arm in his grip, giving him half a second to process what was attacking them.

            Or, him, more accurately. Because it was Jason, flinging erratically, still in the throes of sleep. Dick held firmly onto his arm, trying to avoid Jason taking another swing at him. Jason huffs out a whine, a barely intelligible “No. Let me go.” and is thrashing against Dick violently.

            Dick knew Jason had nightmares, they all did. Had seen Jason have a few before, but none this bad.

“Jay.” Dick tries “Jaybird, wake up.”

            Jason huffs more, pulling at his arm. Dick realizes he’s crying, even in his sleep.

“Jay.” He tries, louder, squeezing his wrist gently “Come on. It’s just a dream.”

            Jason doesn’t answer, gives another weak whine, pulling almost feebly,  curling in on himself.

            Not wanting to make him even more afraid, Dick lets go of his arm, and watches Jason curl into the fetal position, body trembling so hard it shakes the bed.

“Jaybird.” Dick cooes, sliding in close to him, slowly, keeping his touch as gentle as he can “You’re dreaming. Come back to me.”

            And slowly, Jay does, choking on a sob, shaking. Dick watches Jason’s eyes hesitantly open, as if he was afraid to see what’d be there, then feels the relaxation spread through his muscles as he realizes they’re in Dick’s apartment, and he’s safe.

“There you are.” He cooes, brushing Jason’s hair, damp with sweat, back “You’re okay. Okay?”

            Jason doesn’t move, but his eyes follow Dick’s movements, and he swallows nodding.

“Yeah.” He says, voice rough with sleep “Yeah... I--.” He stops, curling in tighter on himself.

            Dick leans down, kisses the tears off his cheek.

“Wanna tell me what it was about?”

            Jason’s body goes rigid.

“No.” He says, more harshly than he intended. Dick winces. “I mean... I don’t... I can’t...” He pushes Dick away, sitting up, legs dangling over the edge. “I should go.” He tries to stand, wobbling.

Dick pulls him back to the mattress.

“Hey. You’re shaking. Hyperventilating.” Dick says “Just, take a moment. It’s okay.”

            Jason takes a few deep breaths, clearly trying to force himself to calm, albeit unsuccessfully.

            Dick fits himself behind Jason’s back, legs on either side of him. Jason lowers his head to his hands, tugging at his hair so hard a few strands come loose.

“He was... I could _feel_ him on me. **_In_**...”

            Dick fights the initial tense and shudder his body wants to give.

            _‘Oh._ ’

“Fucker. I could-- his _smell_.”

            Dick runs his hands along Jason’s sides, presses small kisses to his back.

“Shs.” Dick sooths, rocking him slowly “I’ve got you.”

            Jason falls silent, allowing himself to be rocked. Slowly, Dick feels the tension in his body ease, the trembling slow, his heart rate and breathing fall back into a normal range. After a bit, Jason leans back against Dick, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“Sorry. For freaking out.” He says

“Jay, you never have to apologize for something like this.”

“Still. It’s been _years_. I shouldn’t...” He huffs out a sigh “I shouldn’t still.”

“I wasn’t aware there was a time limit on trauma.”

            Dick feels Jason’s eyeroll more than sees it.

“Anyway. I need a drink.”

“... It’s 8am.”

“It’s 6 o’clock somewhere.” Jason dismisses, moving to stand. Dick holds him firm.

“Who?” He asks

            Jason tenses again.

“Who what?”

“Who is _‘he’_?”

            Jason doesn’t relax. Dick loosens his group, in case Jason wants to bolt. He wouldn’t stop him from leaving, but wanted to give him a chance to talk about it.

            A few long moments pass between them, before Jason speaks.

“I don’t remember his name.” He lies. “He was this dealer, in the neighborhood I grew up in. Flashy. Always had a fat wad of cash, that sort of thing.” Dick keeps his ears primed for any distinguishing detail that could help him identify the piece of shit that hurt Jay, even if it was long ago “Well, mom was... sick... and I needed money. Turns out he had a thing for little boys.”

            Dick feels sick.

“He’d pick me up. On the street. From the apartment. Once or twice from school. Drive me somewhere and then...” He trails off “He liked to tie me up.” He huffs “Some wannabe dom. Liked to tie me up. Hit me. Burn me.” He almost laughs “Fuck me. Of course.” He adds, almost as an afterthought.

“Jesus, Jay.”

            Jason gives a shrug.  
“It wasn’t that bad. He always paid me. Sometime’s he’d ‘lend’ me to other people who...” He swallows, head lowering “Who were worse.”

            Dick is making a fist so tight his fingernails are drawing blood from his palm.

“I needed money, Mom needed food and...” He shrugs “Lots of kids were doing worse than dropping to their knees every now and then.”

            Dick worried at his lip, but remained silent. Jason shifted, laying back down. Dick wrapped his arms around him, almost amused their size difference, the role switch. It was usually Jason who held Dick (even though he’d deny if it pressed). Jason rests his head on Dick’s chest, and there is a long silence between them. After a while, Dick thinks Jason has managed to fall back asleep, when he starts speaking again.

“Dick?”

“Hm?”

“I didn’t... I didn’t stop. When they got tired of me... when my Mom died. I still needed cash so I’d...” He trails off. Dick doesn’t need him to finish.

“Oh.” Dick says, simply “Okay.”

            Jason lifts his head to meet Dick’s eyes.

“Thanks for telling me.” Dick continues

            Jason narrows his eyes.

“‘Thanks’?” He asks “That’s it?”

“I’m glad you opened up to me about this.” Dick continues. Jason sits up.

“You aren’t...  you mean... you’re okay with this?”

“Well. No.” Dick says, and fear flashes across Jason’s face “I’m not okay with the fact that these people hurt you. Of course not.”

“But I chose to.. I let them...”

“You were a child, Jay.” Dick says, firmly. Jason averts his eyes, so Dick touches his chin, brings his face up to his “You were a child, in a terrible situation. You did what you had to. It wasn’t your fault.”

“But--.”

“What would you say to a kid in your situation, now? What about those kids we rescued last month? Would you tell them it was their fault?”

“No, of course not but--.”

“But nothing.” Dick interrupts

            The stare at each other for a few moments, before Jason lies back down, head back on Dick’s chest.

“I thought, if I told you.” He said, after a long while “I thought you... do you still want to  be with me.”

            Dick pulls Jason up to meet his face, kissing him long and deep.

“Yeah, Littlewing. I do.”

“Even though I--.”

“I do.” Dick repeats, firmer “Something like that couldn’t change the way I feel. Couldn’t make me not love you. Sorry, but you’re stuck with me.”

            Jason takes a moment to process, then laughs, settling back down.

“Oh no. That means I have to keep eating your breakfast, doesn’t it.”

“Hey, the pancakes weren’t that bad.”

“They were gray, Dick. I don’t even know how that’s humanly possible.”

            Dick jokingly bops him on the head, Jason chuckles, then presses a kiss to Dick’s chest.

“Thanks.” He says

“For what?”

“For... for not leaving.” Jason says softly

            Dick pulls him tighter.

“Sorry, Jaybird. Looks like you’re stuck with my cooking for the long haul.”

“Joy.” Jason says, sarcastically, but squeezes Dick back.

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt Day 5 First Heart-To-Heart: Either Jason or Dick will open up to each other in an intimate and personal way. Something meaningful maybe, that they’ve never told anyone before. If you’re an artist, this might be difficult to draw, so a gesture or letter would also be something that will work. No arguing, just acceptance.
> 
> Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know this trope is overdone, but I wanted to take a stab at it.


End file.
